Roars with Thunder's Shit List

Belor Hemlock
Absentee sheriff of Sandpoint. Treats me with disrespect despite my height advantage and superior hammer-wealth. Terrible goblin-like creatures (possibly goblins) run rampant in the city under his watch – it’s disgusting. Make note to refer to him as Belle, Belly, or Belbo Baggins instead of his title. Has become slightly more tolerable since we’ve eradicated the goblin threat, but I still don’t like him.

Strange man. Bathes regularly and hunts for his own amusement. Unsure of how he received his honourific, as his hands are conspicuously unladen of foxes. Would have murdered days ago for attempting to seduce cousin, but I suspect he is the village idiot.

It seems Foxglove has abandoned his post as village idiot and taken to murder. Kellus disagrees with this accusation, but I’m getting better at ignoring his squeaky Chelaxian voice. I will find Foxglove, beat him with the business end of my hammer, then cut off his hands so they have to change his honourific to Foxstump.

Surprisingly resilient for a ninety-pound noble. I’ve killed him twice and I’m still not sure if he’ll stay dead. Not that I’d be heartbroken if I had to kill him again.

The Mayor
Oblivious, grossly negligent, and completely unable to deal with any problem on her own. Very much your typical Sandpoint citizen.

Dr Funnel
I WILL CRUSH HIM. More specifically, I will crush his resolve by entering the arena matches and defeating the fighter he commonly bets on. If his resolve remains in one piece after this, I will crush his skull with my hammer. Shoanti justice demands it.

Although previously the most tolerable member of this expedition, his advances towards my cousin have become less and less transparent. I’ve confronted him several times but he deflects my questions by backing out of the room and yelling “charisma” loudly. I’m not sure if that’s some sort of local mantra or an undiagnosed mental condition – it’s so hard to tell with Chelaxians. If he doesn’t stop I’m going to have to challenge him to Bo Quah Dor to determine his worthiness.

Nearly died at the hands of a dozen cultists yesterday because of this damned cat. I should have eaten the thing when I had the chance.

Roars with Thunder's Shit List

Mysteries of Golarion BlaiseW mjiantor